The 365 project- Making it one day at a time

This year, I am starting a 365 day project. I am going to make something everyday this year.
It is in part, a reaction to the fact that I don't feel creative enough and I don't feel like I "create" enough. Creating things through sewing, cooking, baking, and other small projects is a great stress reliever.

I am going to attempt some rules (which I am sure that I will break, but as they are my rules;)...

1. I cannot use "make" as in "make a reservation" any more than twice per week.
2. There should be some tangible thing made everyday.
3. I should use what I have before I go out and buy any materials for said projects.
4. The things that I make should be useful and helpful to my life, or to others.


Yesterday, the first official day of the project, I made homemade bagel bites for my kids,(I figured that it cost about $3.90 to make 24 mini bagel pizza halves.) shredded 2 pounds of cheese for later use and made a scrumptious-good-as-a-restaurant dessert.

Today I am in the process of cutting out and making the materials to put together for women's cloths. I am using a wool sweater that got put in the dryer accidentally and the leftover flannel from the kids' Christmas pj's.

I hope that you had a great NEW year!

The Worst Words

I haven't been blogging although this was a major goal for me. I have been in a tail spin recently. But now I need to write about this. Maybe someday, someone reading this will be helped a little. That is my hope.

October 20th, I went in for a colonoscopy because of general tummy aches that would not go away. I thought perhaps I was lactose intolerant. But as I am youngish, not yet 40, I never even dreamed that it might be something more serious.
They found a mass in my colon which the doc thought looked like cancer. They took the biopsy and sure enough, it was.
I don't know how you hear those words. Until then, being told "you have cancer" was my second worst fear. The doc said it was like having a bomb go off in the room. And it is. It is one of those horrible moments that time stands still and rushes forward as well, with a viscous, sticky, lurching. In your head you are trying desperately to listen, to make sense of the language, the words that people are saying to you, but nothing makes sense. All you can hear is the word cancer, cancer, cancer, ringing through your skull like a bell.

Then it was followed by two or three days of hospital and doctor visits. My new doc, Dr.Martin, was so positive. He told me that he was in the business of curing cancer. He explained everything so well and gave me just absolute confidence in him. On October 30th, I was scheduled for surgery.

During the ten days between diagnosis and surgery, I had to tell the staff at my school, and my students, my family and my friends. While you might think that would have been difficult everyone was so supportive and loving. I am truly blessed to live where I do, with all of the people I have surrounding me. I am almost too blessed. Those ten days have a party like atmosphere in my recollection.

But God has been holding me in his hand. Just cradling me next to his heart. At risk of sounding wacky, I could almost hear God's heartbeat during my day. I had no fear, none. I was being protected from pain, and fear. I am amazed at God's goodness. I am undeserving of being treated so.

October 30th, I went in for surgery which was totally successful. They got everything. It did not spread to my lymph nodes or anywhere beyond. I don't even have to have chemo. Now how amazing is that?

It has been a week now. I was in the hospital for 5 days and have been home now for two nights. I am walking and resting and able to do most everything that I could before. I get tired more easily, but I am sailing right through recovery. I will be right as rain soon. I will be able to go back to my beloved classroom in about a week, albeit half time until after Thanksgiving.

But the best thing is I have been CURED of cancer. I never thought that that was possible. I was under the delusion that once you had cancer, it could be arrested or put into remission, but never really left your system, But mine was cut out, biopsied, studied and now I hope thrown away or burned. It no longer exists.

So, two weeks ago, I was a cancer victim, but now, I am cancer free. I am too lucky. I am too blessed. There are so many other people out there with way worse cancers. People who are suffering and in pain. People who are lonely and scared.

I haven't yet decided what I need to do to help, but I am going to do something. I feel that I was given a great second chance, I need to make this world better while I am here. That has become an imperative.

So, I hope that you never have to hear the words that you fear the most, but strangely, once you hear them, and survive, then you realize how little there is left to fear. It is liberating and exhilarating.

May you be as blessed as I am.

Arguing without sound

Have you ever had an argument without talking? My dog, Pavlov and I are in the middle of a cold war. And dagnabit! He's winning....

Last night in the early early hours of the morning, Pavlov jumped up on my bed. He is a great dog and usually very welcome. But last night he got a bee in his bonnet. He wanted to sleep not only ON my bed, but he wanted to sleep ON me, on my legs to be exact. I don't know if he was having separation issues or what. But, I told him no and moved my legs. He growled at me and sat his head on my leg, so I moved my legs again. He MOVED over to sleep on my leg again! I said NO and he said something like rowlfmfflrowrowrow. I was too tired to argue anymore so I let him have his way. But I don't feel like I should be bullied by a dog.

The things we do for love....

A heart where you least expect to find it

This little heart was in the cream cheese that I put on my french toast last Thursday. I didn't do anything to make it so. It just kind of appeared there. It felt like a small little reminder that God still loves us and is still watching out for us. It was significant that it was on Thursday because last Wednesday, a dear friend of mine lost her son in a car accident. We are still so devastated. But love is out there, and small little reminders of it, everywhere if we just can have eyes to see. Look hard dear friends! I, for one, LOVE YOU!

getting organized

This week my goal is to get organized in a more organized fashion:)
I sat down each one of my kids separately after dinner tonight and had them tell me their schedule for the week. It worked out really well. I wrote their needs down on my weekly planner pages and I also wrote it down on a weekly page pad that I bought at Target over the summer. The pad sticks to the fridge with magnets. Now everyone including my husband will have access to the schedule. Pretty slick!
I also wrote down all the things that I would need to prep and put it down on the to do list a day in advance so I have given myself a little extra wiggle room in case I cannot accomplish everything I need to.
I know that I am not alone out there in having too many things to do and too many places to be during the week. But that is to be expected when you have a large-ish family like I do and kids who aren't driving yet. Hopefully, a little planning in advance will help the week go more smoothly.
What do you do to help yourself be organized?

Love and football

1 and 0!!!

Wow! You know, I think there is very little that I love more than football.

I know that I shouldn't be as wild about the game as I am but I just can't seem to help it. I think that it is the adrenaline or something. I just love football and especially the Cowboys. I've been a fan since I was a little, little girl and we lived in Fort Worth.

This November will be the culmination of a lifelong dream for me. Last year, my husband bought me season tickets for this year for the Cowboys. I have NO idea how he got them because it has always been my understanding that it is nearly impossible to get Cowboys season tickets. And it might seem insane considering that we live about 9 states away from Texas, so we will probably never ever get to any of the games other than the Thanksgiving game. In fact, this game will probably be my only shot in my whole lifetime to see my beloved Cowboys play live in Texas Stadium. But my husband is the absolute best. He bought a whole seasons worth of tickets so that I could see one game, live and in person. He totally supports my passion and that is just priceless.

How I found out about the season tickets was pretty funny too. ( Well looking back on it now is...)

For some reason, my hubby and I were in this horrible fight ( I can't remember what started it, but it was one of the ones where you think, I should just leave, I hate this person across from me!) and then I told him he could just go get an apartment he had the money on his credit card (since we had just paid it off in trying to meet our goal of becoming debt free) and I could care less if I ever saw him again. He turned to me and said he didn't have the money on his card (I nearly went ballistic at that- horrible things were going through my mind, a hussy on the side, gambling, what the HECK did he spend that money on???) I'm so mad at this point I am ready to launch into space and he looked me straight in the eye and said in this low, calm voice..." I bought Cowboys season tickets for you so we can go to a Thanksgiving game." My mouth dropped open and all the fight went out of me. It is hard to describe that moment and how I felt. Low down as a dirty dog. Shock and surprise and love for this man who so totally gets me. I think it was the nicest thing that anyone has ever done for me and I was being so mean and hateful and letting my need to be right and my emotions get control of me. It was a major big lesson for me. A real shocker. Because what do you say to the man that makes your dreams come true? Nothing but I love you, honey. And you know that I always will.

First Day of School!

"Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day, I've got a beautiful feeling, everything's going my way"

After I woke up this morning at 4 am (2 hours too soon, due to a major case of butterflies... yes, teachers get them too!) I was raring to go. My kids got up at the crack of dawn and we did our first day of school "stuff" like taking a picture and listening to "Look at your life through Heaven's Eyes" from the Prince of Egypt CD. We got lunches packed in the wonderful new bags that I sewed this summer, complete with reusable sandwich wraps so we are on our way to becoming ziploc free. Lion starts his Junior year, Monkey started his first day of high school and Cheetah started seventh grade. The boys were much too cool to want to continue our traditions this year, but gave in gracefully to appease their mama.

Then we got everyone on the bus and my daughter, Bear, and I went to school. It is so nice having her along with me for one more year. Cherish your babies while they are small because really they do grow up in what feels like a blink, looking back on it. (I do remember however being nearly to tears because when they were all small it was so overwhelming just to get the four of them to the car, much less anywhere else, so to all moms out there with multiple little ones, I know what you are feeling. You can do it, you will survive!)

And then my students came in this morning. I haven't seen them all summer. ( I am looping with my students so I am teaching them for two years) They have grown so tall and step into the classroom with such an air of maturity. It humbles me and awes me all at the same time. I also have several new kids too and they are just delightful.

I only had one kid throw up today and one girl cry a few tears (welcome to fourth grade honey!) and so it was a great first day all in all.

I love September. It is a month of falling in love all over again.